As I said in PTSD and My Father his disorder caused me to be the way that I am, but what I did not say is what his disorder as well as mine did to everyone else around us.

My mother has taken the brunt of this. She has had to put up with me and my father when we were drinking to much and when we found ourselves in legal trouble.

I asked my mother if she knew that my father had PTSD when she married him. She said, “No, I didn’t know what PTSD was. I just thought he was not very social and had a short temper. He got much, much worse when you went to Iraq.”

I asked her when she realized I was changed. She said, “When you got home from the service. You were totally unmotivated. You did not do well in college even though you were G/T all through school. You drank too much.”

Despite all of this she has dealt with it rather well. She has been here for the both of us the entire time. She has paid for our legal bills for the three DWIs between us and my assault charge. She has encouraged us to get treatment and stop drinking in the best possible way.

However the stress from all of this has affected her badly. She has grown tired beyond her years from all of it. She does not deserve what we have put her through.

She still remains positive about our futures and continues to support us no matter what happens.

My mother has dealt with this well because she had to, but others around us have not.

I began dating a girl shortly after I came home from the army. We quickly fell in love because we were of like minds. We enjoyed the same things and generally loved being together. Unfortunately it all turned bad because of my PTSD.

She wanted more of me than I could give her. I was very distant even though I felt the way I did about her. Even though I cannot imagine myself with anyone else.

We got in a fight one night and I lead her to believe it was over between us even though that was not my intention. She could not stand to live without me, so she did not. The next morning her mother discovered her body in her apartment. She had killed herself because I could not give her all  of me.

All she wanted was for me to show the same affection for her that she showed for me. My PTSD would not allow it. I kept my distance and it killed her. I will forever regret who I am because of it.

PTSD has ruined many marriages, relationships, and families. The National Vietnam Veterans Study found that 40 percent of Vietnam veterans have been divorced at least once, my father being one of those. USA today found that in the year prior to June 8, 2o05 that there were approximately 10,000 divorces among officers and enlisted men and women in the military.

The VA National Center for PTSD said that 75 percent of OIF and OEF veterans have reported at least one family readjustment issue.

These numbers speak volumes about what PTSD does to those around those suffering from the disorder. It changes people, makes them distant and takes a part of them. Some can deal with the changes of these veterans, but some cannot.

With help these problems can be addressed and hopefully be taken care of, but for the most part these veterans will never be the same. Their families and friends are the ones who have to understand and deal with it.

He first discovered that he was different when he found that his girlfriend had another man coming around. He took the man aside and explained to him that if he saw him again he would kill him. He knew that he meant it which made him realize he would never be the same again.

The Department of Veterans Affair’s National Center for PTSD says that 30 percent of Vietnam veterans will have symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in their lives.

The 10 percent difference between veterans from today’s wars and Vietnam veterans is largely due in part to the political differences stateside between the wars. People during Vietnam looked down on veterans.

My father said, “I kept it quiet that I was a Vietnam veteran and tried to forget about it. Society did not treat Vietnam veterans well. Girls didn’t even want to date us.”

It is a shame that veterans were treated this way. My father did not even list his service on job applications. Society did not allow him to be proud of his service like they do for veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan.

He said, “I am culturally alienated and socially disaffected,” which is a problem for me as well, but for different reasons. He was forced to be this way. I am this way because I was raised by him and going to war brought it to the forefront of my mind.

My father was for the most part able to control his PTSD for a long time, but when I went to Iraq, a war which he felt as pointless as Vietnam, he lost himself. He began to drink heavily and get in fights with those who supported the war in Iraq.

He finally let out the anger with which he had been living with since Vietnam. He could no longer control it. He could no longer continue to work and therefore retired before his time.

Up to this point he had never sought help for his disorder, but when I came home from the army he was determined to make sure I got help. In doing so he finally got help for himself.

He is now taking medicine prescribed by his VA psychiatrist. He no longer drinks as heavily and he stays out of bars and bar fights.

The problem is that once it starts it never goes away. He will never be the same man as he was before when he was able to conceal the disorder. He will never again be able to deal with society the way he did when he had to support his family.

He may have made me more susceptible to PTSD by the way he raised me, but against his wishes I joined the army and went to Iraq in turn bringing out the PTSD in him.

I guess we are even.

My best friend walked up behind me and pinched the back of my neck. I immediately turned on him and threw him across the room knocking over a table and chairs. I knew who it was, but I could not stop myself.

I told myself that this was only temporary and that it would go away. I was wrong. It only got worse.

I became angrier and more paranoid than ever. I began fighting all the time and on several occasions pulled my knife on these people. Fortunately on these occasions my friends were there to stop me from killing someone.

I am not the only one like this. A Marine who had served in the War on Terror got in a bar fight in 2007 and killed a Rice University basketball player by stabbing him with a pocket knife similar to the one that my paranoia will not let me be without.

Violent incidences involving war veterans occur more often than one might think. Maybe not to the degree of killing someone or even almost killing someone, but fighting happens all the time. I already have one assault charge on my record from a bar fight and could easily have several more.

Most of the returning vets I know drink heavily which can lead to many types of violence. On the website ptsdcombat.com it is reported that 25 percent of the nation’s suicides over the time of these two wars have been veterans.

These things are caused by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. According to the Department of Defense 1 in 6 returning veterans return with symptoms of PTSD. The Department of Veterans Affairs’ National Center for PTSD says that as many as 20 percent have or will develop symptoms of PTSD.

Since, according to ptsdcombat.com, over 1.4 million troops have served in either OIF or OEF,  this is a staggering statistic especially since most who serve are in support positions and never leave the base or see any combat. Those who do see combat have a much larger risk of PTSD symptoms.

I have seen this in many of my friends. Even in the ones that think they are the same. To some extent we are all different than we were before going to war.

Everyday I feel a little worse, and this is the way it is for many OIF and OEF veterans.

I have worked with doctors at the local Veterans Affairs hospital on finding a way to fight against this disorder which every veteran needs to do. I have tried several medications of different quantities. Presently the ones I am on seem to control severe depression and anger, but the problem is that they control my other emotions as well. I may not be angry and depressed, but I feel nothing at all.

Most of the time I no longer feel happy, sad, hate or love. I am emotionally numb. I have no desire to date or make new friends. I do not know if that is a symptom of PTSD or if my pills are causing it. Either way it is a problem I would not have if I had not been to war.

On a positive note my hopes and dreams keep me alive, and I am about to start a new pill regime that is supposed to combat my lack of feeling. I am very positive that these next pills are the right ones.

Veterans of war who saw combat need to seek help for what they went through just as I have been. They need to understand that it may take awhile to find the treatment that is right for them, but they need to keep hope alive because we deserve to find a peace that is absent in war.

We have come home from war, and there is no reason to stop living now.

After escaping kidnappers the two men are found and brought to a camp run by Cassady’s rival and former member of his unit Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey). Hooper has taken the concepts of the New Earth Battalion to the private sector with an evil twist. It becomes Wilton and Cassady’s mission to stop him and save Django.

Django says when pitching the idea of the New Earth Army, “We have to dream a new America that no longer has an exploitative view of natural resources, no longer promotes consumption at all costs, but to achieve this dream we must become the first superpower to develop super powers.”

This quote accurately displays the idea of the movie and the purpose of the New Earth Army. An America is needed that is concerned with people before all else. The New Earth Army is an organization that intends to start with the army and win wars through positive powers instead of killing and torture. The movie culminates with an ending that expresses this idea.

This story while not completely true is based off the bestselling non-fiction book of the same name by Jon Ronson. The movie takes true life events and twists them into a comedic masterpiece.

The movie is hard to believe, but the DVD comes with extras including a short documentary that has interviews with the men this is based off of. It will sure up any doubts one might have about how much of the movie is reality.

Everything about this movie is great. The story is complete with an intriguing plot, the acting of Academy Award winners Spacey and Clooney and Academy Award nominee Bridges is superb, and Academy Award nominated director Grant Heslov puts it all together in a way that grabs one’s attention and does not let it go. It is one of those rare movies in which it is truly difficult to find a flaw.

I recommend this movie for everyone, but it will especially touch those who have served in the army.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/outlook/6932291.html

Soldiers, Marines and some seamen and airmen go to war for this country which I personally, although I am biased, believe is a far more noble cause cannot sue the government when they become a casualty of war. I am not just talking about those that were killed of wounded. I am talking about every man and woman that experienced combat.

While military men and women do have a $400,000 life insurance policy, that only covers the dead. What about those that came back wounded, mentally traumatized or just injured from the strain of war on the body? There is disability, but that does not amount to much when, unlike most of the plaintiffs in this case, can no longer hold down a job. One hundred percent disability is a nice chunk of change, but most veterans never get that much.

I personally receive 60 percent disability which is less than a thousand dollars a month, not enough to live on unless one is single and lives with his grandma. I was not wounded, but I came back crazier than a shit-house rat. My goal when I go out, is not to hang out with friends or meet a woman, it is not to cut anyone’s throat. As of yet I have been unable to hold down a job, my credits gone down the tubes, and I live with my grandma. I am very capable of getting things done despite my faults, but many of my brethren are far beyond that point.

These plaintiffs in this case as it is now will receive almost $70,000 a piece, and maybe they deserve it. Something needs to change where men and women that commit themselves to fighting for their country should receive a nice lump sum of money when they get out of the military. They commit their lives to this country sometimes doing multiple year long tours in a war zone. Most of the plaintiffs in this case worked a few weeks.

The point is that these people, while they did a good thing, did not do nearly that of the veterans that served in the War on Terror, so instead of just giving them money give it to the veterans as well.

I hated Delay when he was my personal representative and I hate him now. After demonstrating how large a douchebag he is on Dancing With the Stars, he is using his stature as King Douche to help the needy. Wait, he is only Queen Douche, I forgot about Dick Chaney.

Normally something like this would make me hate the guy a little less, but for some reason I cannot believe that he is doing this for any other reason than to fix his tarnished image that he made worse, at least to those with intelligence, by dancing on television.

I have always wanted an excuse to bash Tom Delay to everyone that can read. Now I have been given my chance.

Thanks, Tom.

Now that we are communists we have new health care propaganda we all need to follow.

1) Health insurers are not allowed to deny children coverage even if they have a pre-existing condition. Why should this be? Parents should have to go broke paying for leukemia treatments for their infant children. If they do not then the war against the Communists in Vietnam was pointless, either that or we were on the wrong side.

2) Insurance companies will no longer be able to cancel one’s policy when that person becomes ill. Not yet being a good Communist I am not sure I can handle that. How is an insurance company supposed to make money if they pay medical bills. We should probably call Kim Jong-il and see how they do it in North Korea. I know their Communist government is at the pinacle of what our new Communist nation should strive to be.

3) Small businesses will receive tax credits for providing coverage to their employees. This may create health insurance at companies that previously did not have it, but it does not sit well with me. I have trouble dealing with my capitalist roots, but now that I am a Communist in a nation of Communists I will have to learn to use the word “comrade” when I am addressing others.

There are many other points to the bill that transcend the barrier between capitalism and communism, but I do not have time to cover them because my copy of The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels just arrived in the mail from Amazon. I have to go read it now so I can be the best Communist that I can be in what will be the greatest Communist nation on Earth.

By the way forget about Easter, Communists do not celebrate it, comrades.

White will continue with his attempt to become Texas’ first Democratic governor since Ann Richards abdicated the throne 15 years ago to the now infamous George W. Bush.  He will continue to fight pushing his agenda in hope of gaining votes while suffering defeat at the hands of an inferior man.

Bill White will campaign focusing on the issues of jobs and the economy, education, health care and energy.

White’s ideas caused Houston to gain more jobs than 34 states. Although Rick Perry claimed to create one million jobs during his time in office, a significant amount of these jobs were in Houston, Texas’ most economically sound city. Of course White was mayor.

Rick Perry claims responsibility for these jobs, but he also turned down $550 million in federal stimulus funding for unemployment aid.

White will force the issue of education which with Perry as governor has consistently been ranked among the worst in the country. White will improve Texas education by implementing similar programs to those he used in Houston that showed success. Perry will say that he has improved education while continuing to allow low rankings on a state wide level.

White will bring up the issue of health care reform. He will fight to help keep insurance premiums from increasing as they have under Perry who has allowed Texas to have some of the highest insurance rates.

White will also attempt to expand enrollment in the Childrens Health Insurance Program and medicaid so Texas can reap federal benefits that have been turned down by Perry who claims to be helping Texas’ need for affordable health care.

White will promote Texas as the international energy leader through traditional energy sources and energy sources for the future. Perry has attempted similar ideas without the success a veteran energy man such as White who has served as Deputy Secretary of Energy of the United States.

While Bill White in just about every aspect is more qualified and better proven as an executive, he has almost no hope of becoming governor. Even though Rick Perry is a semi-competent leader, at best, hand picked by a completely incompetent leader Bill White can only hope for extreme circumstances creating his victory.

The reason is simply that voting Texans are simply not the type of people who change their ideals. They were raised one way and only extreme circumstances will cause them to change such as when the Democrats ran the southern loathed  McGovern when he caused the shift in southern voting trends from Democrat to Republican.

White’s only hope outside of Perry’s untimely death is that someone does like Carol Strayhorn did in 2006 taking a substantial amount of votes from Perry while no one does the same to the Democrats as in 2006. Since this would have to come out of left field it is not out of the realm of possibility, but it has as much chance as a snowball in hell. Which is about as much chance as White has.

Unlike the majority of Americans at the time I never believed any of the propaganda about Iraq. It was a war I did not agree with. Today, seven years later, it is known to everyone that Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction and Iraq had no ties to Al Quaeda. However, whether or not the war was necessary, we have accomplished as much as can be expected.

With the name of the war being changed from Operation Iraqi Freedom to Operation New Dawn as of September 1 we are moving on from the war that has plagued the country for seven years to a time of new beginnings for a country that needs an era of peace.

The fact of the matter is that Iraq is a much more stable environment than it was when I was there in 2004 and 2005. Coalition casualties are minimal, the Iraqi government is taking on an identity of its own apart from the U.S., and Iraqi forces are taking over the duty of defending their country.

Many people still look at the Iraq War, as it is now, as a burden upon the U.S., but I remember being there in November 2004, the bloodiest month of the conflict, when we lost 141 coalition soldiers. I look at it now and see, with the month of February drawing to an end, the loss of only 4 soldiers in a month. As far as I am concerned the deaths of my brethren, or lack there of, is the most important point of the war. When soldiers are no longer dying, we are winning.

The post Hussein government of Iraq has faced assassination attempts and successes. When I was there the governor of Baghdad was killed in my unit’s area of operations after he refused our protection. Now the government is secured without the need for U.S. protection.

I remember the first government election in January 2005 when our patrols were spread out all over Baghdad in attempt to stop the insurgency from interrupting the election process. The violence continued the next day. Iraqis were afraid to vote. While there was some violence during the last elections which took place January 2009, there was no major violence reported.

Another election will be held in March, and while there is some skepticism about what will transpire the trend so far is that the violence will be minimal. Hopefully this will continue to lead to a more unified Iraq as has been built by Nouri al-Maliki over the last few years. While he has excluded Sunni candidates from this election due to their ties to Hussein’s Baath Party, he has also quelled secular violence by not siding through his actions with either Sunnis or Shias.

Although Sadrist candidates, candidates backed by Muqtada al-Sadr, have grown in popularity it is still likely at this point that al-Maliki or another non-Sadrist candidate will be prime minister and hopefully continue what has started with a U.S. allied, bi-secular government.

The Iraqi Army and Police have taken control of the majority of security throughout Iraq allowing coalition forces to ease back their role in the country. Many of Iraqis believe that this security is inadequate because of several bombings throughout the country, but violence overall is still down from what it once was.

These security forces, while not yet at the level of the coalition, are doing an excellent job compared to what they were capable of when I was working with them. They will continue to get better as they gain more experience that they did not gain when relying on coalition forces.

Iraq may not be where it needs to be in the end of all this, but it has advanced as far as the U.S. and its allies can take it. The death toll is down, the government is becoming self sufficient and the security forces have all but taken control from the coalition. It is up to Iraq now. As far as I am concerned this is a win for the U.S.