PTSD and Everyone Else

The funny thing about insanity is not what it does to the insane, but what it does to those around them.

As I said in PTSD and My Father his disorder caused me to be the way that I am, but what I did not say is what his disorder as well as mine did to everyone else around us.

My mother has taken the brunt of this. She has had to put up with me and my father when we were drinking to much and when we found ourselves in legal trouble.

I asked my mother if she knew that my father had PTSD when she married him. She said, “No, I didn’t know what PTSD was. I just thought he was not very social and had a short temper. He got much, much worse when you went to Iraq.”

I asked her when she realized I was changed. She said, “When you got home from the service. You were totally unmotivated. You did not do well in college even though you were G/T all through school. You drank too much.”

Despite all of this she has dealt with it rather well. She has been here for the both of us the entire time. She has paid for our legal bills for the three DWIs between us and my assault charge. She has encouraged us to get treatment and stop drinking in the best possible way.

However the stress from all of this has affected her badly. She has grown tired beyond her years from all of it. She does not deserve what we have put her through.

She still remains positive about our futures and continues to support us no matter what happens.

My mother has dealt with this well because she had to, but others around us have not.

I began dating a girl shortly after I came home from the army. We quickly fell in love because we were of like minds. We enjoyed the same things and generally loved being together. Unfortunately it all turned bad because of my PTSD.

She wanted more of me than I could give her. I was very distant even though I felt the way I did about her. Even though I cannot imagine myself with anyone else.

We got in a fight one night and I lead her to believe it was over between us even though that was not my intention. She could not stand to live without me, so she did not. The next morning her mother discovered her body in her apartment. She had killed herself because I could not give her all  of me.

All she wanted was for me to show the same affection for her that she showed for me. My PTSD would not allow it. I kept my distance and it killed her. I will forever regret who I am because of it.

PTSD has ruined many marriages, relationships, and families. The National Vietnam Veterans Study found that 40 percent of Vietnam veterans have been divorced at least once, my father being one of those. USA today found that in the year prior to June 8, 2o05 that there were approximately 10,000 divorces among officers and enlisted men and women in the military.

The VA National Center for PTSD said that 75 percent of OIF and OEF veterans have reported at least one family readjustment issue.

These numbers speak volumes about what PTSD does to those around those suffering from the disorder. It changes people, makes them distant and takes a part of them. Some can deal with the changes of these veterans, but some cannot.

With help these problems can be addressed and hopefully be taken care of, but for the most part these veterans will never be the same. Their families and friends are the ones who have to understand and deal with it.

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